‘Pampering’ vs. ‘Catering’ to students

by admin on April 20, 2011 in News

Let’s talk about pampering vs. catering to students . . . and a third alternative that beats them both hands down.

Pampering Students: Do You Do This?

Pampering implies that a teacher is a pushover who succumbs to student demands. Eventually, this pampering will lead to the teacher feeling taken advantage of, and that will usually cause the teacher to give up on their struggling student.

The teacher will rightly think, “I tried everything with Joey! I brought him lunch once a week; I gave him some baseball trading cards. I even brought him a poster of his favorite team, Real Madrid. And after all that, he still skipped his tutoring sessions and does not try in class! He is just beyond help.”

The teacher is naive who believes that in order to reach his student she must appease his every whim.
 
A wise king once said, "If you pamper a servant from youth on, in his later life he will become a thankless person."

When teachers “kowtow” to the student’s wishes, they are just being played. In nearly 20 years of teaching, I have seen this over and over again. Why set ourselves up as easy targets?

Never pamper your students. It will backfire and give others the wrong impression.

“Catering” to Students

Let’s consider the phrase “to cater to.” What is wrong with that? Well, if my car breaks down at 11 p.m., I naturally expect a tow truck driver to cater to me, answering my cell phone call and towing my car to the repair shop.

The tow truck driver is a professional catering to my specific needs. He does not look to “blame first and act second.” Time is of the essence and, after he comes to the rescue, there will be plenty of time to reflect later on what happened.

In a similar fashion, then, it could be said that we need to "cater" to those students who need our help the most.

Unfortunately, even though the term catering can be defined as “providing for”, it also has a negative connotation to it. While not as negative as “pampering,” catering still has shades of “indulging” and “kowtowing to.”

So let’s look for a better term to see if we can’t help our drowning student in the most direct and appropriate way possible.

A Better Term to Use: Pinpointing

When we evaluate a student, we are pinpointing. We identify his specific needs and formulate a plan to increase his on-task behavior.

The clear example of pinpointing is this: a car mechanic. You come in to the station and he says, “What seems to be the problem?” You briefly explain the problem. He asks a few questions. Then, he does a brief physical inspection. If you are lucky, he is able to say, “I see your problem, this hose is leaking.” If he has not yet pinpointed the problem, he may have to hook the car up to machine, or take off a your tires to check your brakes.

His job is to listen to your concern, listen to your car, look at your car and, if needed, use a computer to pinpoint your problem.

Can you imagine what he would say if someone accused him of “pampering” or “catering” to you and your car? It's obviously an absurd notion.

When we go above and beyond to reach struggling students, naysayers might accuse us of catering to or pampering a student. When that happens, I do not shrink away. I proudly say, “Well, I evaluated his problem, pinpointed what we needed to do, and I am making a clear, consistent effort to turn him around. That’s my job, right?”

That puts the issue in its proper — and helpful — perspective.

Tell me what you think by posting a comment below. What approach have you found successful with drowning students? Share your thoughts about pampering vs. catering vs. pinpointing.

24 Comments, read below or add one

Craig McCullough

April 20, 2011 at 6:50 PM

I have a problem with enabling. I think too often that educators allow certain behaviors occur to "get along" with the student, or to be their "friend." Education is filled with "bleeding hearts." I do not think that that is our role. We give them rewards hoping that they will behave. That is when we get played. Students do this all the time.
Also, rewarding with food gives the wrong message, about food. A pizza party or a sucker, or a pop, It sets kids up for problems with food. The best motivator is the child's own need to change his behavior. That is what we need to set up; Intrinsic motivation-helping the student to see that it is in his best interest to do the "right thing," but I am not always sure how to do it.

David Shocket

April 20, 2011 at 6:52 PM

I agree whole heartedly with your “Pinpointing” concept and have done this very successfully in the past.  However, it seems that in the past few years this very valuable strategy has had less and less success. I know that I have attempted to adjust my strategies as we have developed new curriculum but there is one very important component missing. The students are not being held accountable for their own education.  Our district has been attempting to bring down our failure rate; however, they have done this by asking the teacher to dumb down the expectations not by holding the students accountable.  Students are told that if they are failing a class because they are not turning in work or doing any homework that it is not their fault. We have actually been told that if the students are not turning in assignments then maybe we should be looking at giving fewer assignments.  

Steve

April 20, 2011 at 6:54 PM

While I really like the idea of a teacher being a professional similar to a doctor or, as you have described, as a mechanic, who is competent to diagnose and treat "faults", I also think of the doctor and mechanic that I go to as being nice, friendly, happy people. I go to them not just because of their competence to treat problems, but also because I enjoy who they are. Relationship and professional competence are both essential for successful teaching. I know you make this point in other places. Thanks for the great insights. Steve

Sue Feller

April 20, 2011 at 7:10 PM

I think pinpointing is a lovely term. It puts me in mind of "differentiation of instruction" which is an ideology presented to me in some depth while I was working on my MEd a couple of years ago.
The issue that comes up in the typical classroom seems to be: what are easy strategies that can be employed "on the fly" when we see a student struggling besides shortening the assignment  at hand?

Sarah Manlove

April 20, 2011 at 7:33 PM

I love this distinction to a very common problem.  I'm in university education but came from an elementary teaching background and I'm amazed that higher ed teachers don't have any training pertaining to issues such as these.  I've always found that pinpointing behaviors are better than either the catering to or naturally pampering.  Although some kids needed a little pampering or coaxing in my experience to get to pinpointing…i.e. they needed a taste of success to see they can be successful so I pampered them a bit to bring them up to seeing themselves as good learners. 

Laura

April 20, 2011 at 7:42 PM

I work with two ladies who think it is the job of the student to turn it around.  When I suggest coming up with a plan to use positive reinforcements with the students, I am met with much resistance.  I like using the term "pinpiointing."  It suggests that we have clearly identified the problem, looked at it in terms of the individual student, and have a proposed action to take to alleviate the problem.  We are off for spring break for the next few days.  That will give me some time to reword my proposal using the word "pinpoint."  Thank you, Tom!

Mary

April 20, 2011 at 7:56 PM

I like how you have stated pampering and catering but there's still a little problem with pinpointing because it still sometimes involves you doing one or the other once you've pinpointed the problem area. I would like to know what other way there is to help that particular student once you've pinpointed the problem.  You've got to get the student to the place where they want to improve.

Esther

April 20, 2011 at 8:25 PM

Pinpointing is the right term to be used to help students reach their goal -it may be harsh on the student but it the right approach for both the teacher and the student to help both succeed in life.
thanks,Tom, for bringing up this approach.

Norine

April 20, 2011 at 9:16 PM

I agree with your "pinpointing" in general.  However, it is something I have been doing since day one of teaching with all students and some students need help "connecting" due to other stuff that is distracting them.  I have always sought to connect with my students.  Often the student that is acting out, off task, or in class with an attitude is the one that is in most need of help of "pinpointing" or "connecting" with themselves and the classroom dynamics.  It is a process between me, the student, and in some way the climate of the class.  I am patient, determine, and creative with insights and ideas to reach students.  You see, once upon a time, I too was this very same, quiet, disturbed student.  I remember one teacher that touched my heart for thirty seconds or a minute in ninth grade.  It was a powerful moment of empowerment.  I became a teacher to bring that moment into the lives of all my students everyday every moment.  That is what learning should be based on. 

Darlnk

April 20, 2011 at 9:32 PM

I say a personal goodbye to every student at the end of the day whilst they are standing behind their desk. I move around every student saying what kind of a day they had learning wise and 'pinpoint' a few positives and one specific aspect that needs attention before the next session. As students know that this'critique' time is going to occur each day the results have led to increased personal growth I believe.

Patti Covich

April 20, 2011 at 10:35 PM

Pinpointing is tricky for me. Some of my students are severely dyslexic,  have second grade reading levels, do not understand English, have severe ADHD etc. etc.  I have so many students–many learning disabled and most who claim that they "just don't care" (and they really don't). It is alarming really. Our failure rates are very high and the standardized testing is so massive, that's all we MUST  work toward. Kids give up. I certainly approve of the idea of differentiation, but incorporating it is difficult. It almost seems like I have to give a different assignment to each child every day. This is an impossible task. Moreover, I find that kids who get different assignments feel stigmatized because they know if their assignments expect so much less. I also find that co-teaching is a disaster. I am much more in favor of push-in or pull- out but this is no longer done because co-taught students get more money to the school. I do  know that students need to know that the teacher cares about them. I have lost so much faith in our system, especially in NYC where the drop out rate is so remarkably high. I don't blame the students if they don't do the work. Many cannot (for a variety of reasons). Many have family lives that don't make for HW time. Personally, I believe HW should not be weighed so heavily in their overall grade. Differentiated final assessments (not standardized tests) should count in the end. Remarkably, many of my students are so learning disabled that they can't be expected to do HS level work. Do we throw these students away? They are not dumb. It is a terrible quandary. Call me a bleeding heart, but I just want to give some of these students the answers so they can graduate (not that I can). 

Shana

April 21, 2011 at 12:43 AM

I am very interested in what Sarah M. said above. I also work in adult education in a vocational college. My job is specifically to assist and upskill lecturers who come from a trades, rather than teaching background. Most have little or no exposure to concepts around classroom management or 'teaching ' skills when they arrive and are shunted off to the front of a classroom. Many of the behavioural issues are similar, even though we are working with adults and not kids or teenagers.
There is very little discussion or research into classroom management in adult education, so I'm constantly adapting ideas that come from primary or secondary behaviour/classroom management strategies. This idea of 'pinpointing' sounds like something really relevant in the adult ed environment – I look forward to futher discussion!

DLK

April 21, 2011 at 1:31 AM

I do agree that it is our job to pinpoint our students problems. Many times I have done this but there are so many other problems the students are dealing with that school is their least concern. I have taken a student that was receiving failing grades in 4 out of 5  classes from a study hall and put him in a learning resource room so he could get help, and have quite time to do his homework. He was so mad at me, he refused to do any work for me. I explained to him, that I did this for his sake, not mine. I did not want him to have to repeat any of his freshman classes. It has taken some time, but he is at least speaking to me now. Often they don't understand that my intention is only really what I feel is is in their best interest.

kweezy

April 21, 2011 at 1:32 AM

Your distinction makes much sense.  I find it interesting, too that many people don't seem to mind that teachers pamper or cater to students, or that we use conditioning methods to get them to change behaviors.  Students are people, and we do need to find ways to work with them in order to get positive outcomes, just like with adults.  However, it is exhausting sometimes when there are not set procedures or the expectations are lowered so teachers are required to accommodate rather than to make students work.  There is no satisfaction like that of succeeding and learning something new, and that is what seems to be secondary in many cases.

TKay

April 21, 2011 at 11:19 AM

I teach in a school in an equity plus school, one with more than 90% on free and reduced lunch.  If I don't "pinpoint" my students, they never learn.  My kids have so many issues that I must spend some time each day letting them know that I care.  I firmly believe that with children raised in poverty, learning is relational.  I have two children that are homeless, one with a parent in prison, one that is bi-polar, and one who has had 5 "homes" in the last year and a half.  Anger issues abound.  I have to introduce the word self-control into their vocabulary.

Louise

April 21, 2011 at 12:17 PM

Unfortunately, many times the pinpointed problem is a student simply not doing his/her job—-working!  So, I have a natural consequence.  If you do not do well on a test,  you are required to answer all the questions correctly (I have provided the correct answers) with an explanation or illustration on WHY this is the correct answer. This requires research, summarizing, and hopefully a better understanding.  I offer free lunch time and after school tutoring as well, but regardless of a student attending, they are required to do work that will ensure they are working on grasping a concept.  

Sharon

April 21, 2011 at 2:40 PM

Tom,
THank you for being a true professional who always seeks to teach by example and share that knowledge base with others.  I also agreee with "pinpointing".  It is refreshing to hear that other educators are collaborating about  about how to provide opportunities for our students to grow in RESPONSIBILITY for their actions and inactions.  All of which are based on the decisions they make every day. 
We as profesionals need to support each other as we model and teach natural consequences.  If I don't do an assignment in a class or on a job,they will utlimately get fired.  TO not teach this lesson is irresponsible for us as the professional. 
THank you for your commitment to quality and responsible education for our students and the true professional teachers who strive daily to train up the next generation of responsible and productive citizens.
 

Carol

April 22, 2011 at 11:49 AM

For 35 years I have been pinpointing problems and differentiating instruction and both work well when accompanied with my high regard for my students' educations and their future successes in life and their chosen careers. We ae not responsible for "getting them to care" about their responsibility to take charge of their learning. We cannot make them care. What we can do is stand as examples of care and caring. Nel Noddings knows this and has written eloquently on the subject. When we care for our own well-being enough to remain focused on education, ours and theirs, they have a model to follow and many more do than do not.

Connie

April 22, 2011 at 5:00 PM

My understanding of Tom’s use of the term pinpointing denotes a willingness to engage with the student who is not making satisfactory connection with learning opportunities.  Pinpointing arises out of interaction between teacher and student and is a function of patterns observed, as compared to differentiated which is based on predetermined strategies.  Pinpointing, I think, arises out of my connecting my effectiveness to student growth.  That said, I have to admit it’s a critical dimension to improving student participation, especially the low ballers and under-performers.  Like any other limited resource, it is precious.  It is time well-spent if done in the spirit of cooperation:  student needs to realize what is at stake and incentives for making the effort.  That’s my take on this effort.  Maybe Tom could elaborate on ways to awaken student motivation to realize there’s a partnership potential. 

 

Joanna

April 22, 2011 at 9:16 PM

I honestly agree.  As I read the article, I thought about my experiences and my friends.  This does hold validity.  We must clearly understand the difference between pampering and motivating. 

Julia

April 23, 2011 at 5:06 PM

I agree with Steve….I buy from people I like.  I was a data sales specialist for 20+ years before becoming a professional educator three years ago.  I teach intensive reading and language arts grades 6-8 in a sub-rural school with a demographic of 87% free lunch, large majority hispanic (Mexican), African American.
My first year as a teacher, 40% of my students scored 3 or higher on the Florida FCAT.  This means they passed.  
I love ALL my students, and I really mean LOVE.  In each and every one of the children that I have the responsibility of educating, I find the good and promote it….I also find and point out the negatives that shall inhibit his/her success.  Children work hard when they are working for someone that cares, truly and deeply.  If that support is not in the home, it should be in the school.  Teachers that think otherwise need to get out of the profession of teaching.  I have approximately 140 students, grades 6-8.  I am HUGGED at least, no exaggeration, 50 times daily.  My KIDS work hard moreso for me than for themselves.  Take this along with a teacher that improves his/her PD to be the best educator possible and you have a formula for success.
Children yearn for what is missing in their lives.  It is not their fault that life has dealt them the miserable hand……however, Teachers, True Teachers can and SHOULD take responsibiity to know each and everyone of his/her students and…..a hug, a compliment, a shoulder to shoulder results in life-altering consequences.  I did not become a teacher at 50 for the money, rather my legacy shall be the improvements  I have made in my students' lives.  The following quote is written by the penultimate educator, Aristotle.
Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.
    -ARISTOTLE

jan fredericks

April 26, 2011 at 5:36 PM

I think you have nailed it. Especially in elementary school.  There are so many students who are drowning. I do prefer teaching those who are getting something wrong and are trying to learn how to do it better. You know what though? Those who are misbehaving simple to misbehave are also drowning and we have to reach them too, rather than blame them.  Thank you for an eye-opening article.  JF

susan

April 27, 2011 at 12:07 PM

My message is to Julia posted 23rd April. I teach  on the other side of the world in a coal mining town in Australia. I am a retired teacher from a private girls' school where "instilling the love of learning" was never an issue. I decided to do some relief teacher to make some extra money and this year, I  took on a one-term contract with a Year 3 class in a State Primary School. Unfortunately their assigned teached took leave after only 4 weeks because the students were too difficult for her to teach. My first day with this class was a new experience –  they wondered around the room, refused to work and displayed little respect for themselves, the other students, their belongings, the room and ME. I agreed with her, the class was extremly difficult but I was determined to complete my contract. (I have been told that these students were "climbing the walls" in Pre year and have never "got it"). I have just found out that their teacher is not returning for the rest of the year and I have been offered the opportunity to stay on as their teacher. I initially said "No way" but when I met my class after first break, I looked at their little faces and I just could not "run out on them" You see I LOVE them all.  I acknowledge that the hugs and smiles I get each day and their follow me around the school during playtime chatting and sharing their lives (some are very sad) is a sign that they care for me as well . A few of the lower level readers have lifted their reading score  by 6 levels in just 6 weeks. Their teacher from last year walked past our room during class and poked her head in through the door and said  "Oh, dear me, What is your secret Mrs K? I have never seen these students so engaged and sitting still". My reply was, "I don't know". But her question started me thinking  – what is my secret? …..the answer……..The children know I care about them as individuals, I speak to each child each day about "anything" that lets them know that I care about their learning. I positively comment  on their progress no matter how small. I work hard to prepare interesting, efffective teaching stratagies. I model a caring, positive classroom and the students are starting to pass it on in many little ways. How can I walk away?  I have invested too much of myself  in them and they have invested too much of themselves in me. I am now looking forward to seeing  how far they can improve not just as learners in the classroom but learners in life.  Thank you Julia, we may live on separate sides of the world but we both share a common philosophy in teaching and really……… it is NO SECRET!

Pat Davis

April 28, 2011 at 11:57 PM

"Pinpointing" is the perfect term for what do with each of my HS SPED students.  Like Carol, (above),I have been pinpointing problems , differentiating instruction and expressing a high regard for each student's education, future successes and overall happiness in whatever they choose to do with their lives.  The caring about their responsibility for their learning needs to start in the home.  No, we cannot make them care, especially at this age, but we can still model that caring attitude and keep our expectations at such a level that demonstrate that not everyone have given up on them.  It is always amazing to see how many do care and respond well to this type of intervention.

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