Parent Success Stories


Below you'll find some of the many emails and letters I have received from parents around the world using my program.

 


 

"I've had your parent guide for a year now.  I think it's phenomenal."

(Voice mail transcript):  Hi, my name is Michele . . . I've had your parent guide for a year now. I think it's phenomenal, I've used it with my son.  I've also used it for my younger son, who isn't (ADHD).  I liked it so much that I decided to order copies for some of the teachers at the school.  I've also talked to the school about it. . . . I love the book, the way that it's written, and how you can use it in a lot of aspects, even with kids who aren't ADHD.  . . . Thanks, bye."

– Michelle P., Goodrich, Michigan


 

". . . filled with simple but profound and workable solutions for parents"

Tom, I just wanted to say that after I finished reading your book, (around 4 a.m. in the morning), my heart was filled with such a sense of hope and joy. I know I can be a better parent for my kids. My kids can and will make it in life with independence and determination. Your wonderful book is filled with simple but profound and workable solutions for parents. I will always keep it near me as a reference and inspiration. Please feel free to post these comments on your website if they can reach other parents out there to order your book. I feel really grateful that I found your website while I was surfing the web looking for | answers to help myself and my kids.

– Christine Kao, Danville, California

 


 

"He seems happier than ever and I am so relieved"

I wanted to take a moment to let you know your book has been a true blessing to me. My son, now age 14 was diagnosed with ADHD in the fifth grade. For years now, we have been in counseling, on and off medicines and still no improvement in his grades. Your book showed us how wrong we had been. I love the book. My son and I are working daily on different activities and ways in which we can handle his ADHD. He seems happier than ever and I am so relieved. With high school just around the corner I was beginning to panic. I cannot thank you enough. Your book is a treasure to me and I will recommend your book to anyone who is facing the same problems.

– Theresa Hillmann, St. Charles, Missouri


 

"I use strategies from it nearly every single day"

Dear Tom, I ordered your program when it first came out. It was indeed everything you promised it to be. I use strategies from it nearly every single day.  I know this probably sounds cheesy and is probably a counter-effective advertisement (haha), but I just wanted you to know that I believe in your book . . . I use it and believe in it . . . and in this day of so many different methods and ways of dealing with kids, your strategies WORK. Please keep up the good work.

– Clint Lucy, Waldron, Arkansas


 

"You have made a profound difference to our family!"

I am not able to thank you enough.  Your book helped me understand the idea that my son's heart needs to be continually replentished with love and attention (your "hollow heart" idea). Thanks to you I now often, and regularily, re-mind him of how much I love him and how much he means to me. I am someone who easily tells the people close to me that I love them and was becomming very frustrated with my son who never seemed to hear and think I had told every one but him.  I am now able to stay calm and understand that I am heard and just need to keep the words flowing.  This is no little thing.  For my son it has given him a positive self-esteme and has pulled him out of a depression!  It has given us a firm foundation to work from and use many of your other amazing ideas!!    I do want to thank you.  You have made a profound difference to our family!

– Sandra (last name withheld by request)


 

". . . bang on the money!  It took all I could not to smile . . ."

I was once arguing with my son about following my directions about how to behave at school. I decided to put one of your examples to work – the one where I told him about being at a stop light at an intersection. At certain points in the story I was to ask him certain questions and the answers you said he would give was bang on the money! It took all I could not to smile. It was very handy because my son's at the age where he will be defiant, but one reference to the story and he tends to back down. I think because it's such a logical and simple story that he just "gets it."

– Tammy Lilly


 

"My son is 100 percent changed from his struggles in third grade"

Your book has taught me many ways to deal with Zach and his defiance.  I have tried some of your "amazing phrases" and they work!  When I can sense that he is getting "the look" that tells me his frustration level has climbed to an alarming peak, I will say something out of the blue, usually making no sense and very silly.  It disarms him, stops him and most of the time, he will smile and I can see the tension melt away from his body.  I have also used some techniques with his teacher. At the beginning of this year at school, I met with his teacher before school even started.  I told her all about Zach's strengths and weaknesses.  I let her know what accommodations would work with him and what may help the year go smoothly. I mentioned that he has some "space" issues, and doesn't respond well to people very close to him or hanging over him.  She put him on the corner in the front row so he didn't feel "boxed in" by the other students.  When my son, by October, told me that during class, the teacher stood right in front of his desk to lecture to the class, and it was annoying and distracting to him, I was able to diplomatically let her know. She moved away from his desk, and I haven't heard the complaint again!  Most importantly, I let the teacher know that I was working with her, that I would always be available, and that I knew my son could be challenging. I think it made her feel more at ease, that I wasn't going to attack her or second guess her.  Overall, I love your book, and refer to it often.  My son is 100% changed from his struggles in 3rd grade. While I can always use more advice as he gets older, I think I have finally opened up his "shell". He is happier, calmer, more focused and aware, and a joy!

– Susan Todaro, New Castle, Delaware


 

"He seems to be more comfortable . . . he is less hostile . . ."

I belive our walks are helping our relationship. He seems to be more comfortable talking to me during the walks. He is less hostile in our conversation as well. We try to do this as much as possible.

– Vivan Wilson


 

"I now have my happy boy that doesn't struggle as much . . ."

My son suffered quite a challenge with social and behavioral issues. Your book taught me how to teach myself to really listen to what the underlying problems were.  I discovered he was becoming very frustrated, even after attending a behavioral and attention/focus group for quite some time.  We came up with some positive ways to help him make his feelings known. I was never more proud of him then the day I scheduled a meeting with the teacher and principal and he was able to articulate with my encouragement the facts as he saw them. . . . He has learned a valuable lesson that you helped me teach him.  He is now doing much better at being honest with some educators and working hard at not making excuses but rather troubleshoot challenges. He still struggles with short term memory problems, follow-through with tasks and organization, BUT I now have my happy  boy that doesn't struggle nearly as much with his self esteem.  Thank you 

– Shari Saikkonen


 

"The best thing I ever did for my son"

My son was having a lot of trouble in school, the school system was not interested in any way to help me find a solution.  I came across your web-site and the book sounded to good to be true, but I purchased it anyway.  The best thing I ever did for my son.  I read and reread several times, even offered it to the school to read.  No chance of that.  So I took it upon myself to help my son.  I did two things right away, "The Stoplight," and going for walks.  The Stoplight worked like a charm, after the first time there was no arguing because it wasn't a question it was a statement that myself made to my son.  It was giving him a command not a choice.  The walks were really great too; it was a time for him and I to talk.  Most of all he liked it because it was just him and I.  You were right, as time went on he did open up and I was amazed by what came out of his mouth at ease.  Now my son is in 5th grade and doing well, his grades are B's and C's with few A's instead of Unsatisfactory and /or D's.  We have came a long way and I am so proud of him.  Thank you so much.  if it weren't for you we would still be struggling and my son wouldn't have the confidence he has now.  You are a wonderful person to write these books and let people know you are out there, because there is very little good information on ADHD out there. 

– Wanda (last name withheld by request)


 

"It was like you lit a light bulb in my head . . ."

First of all, you helped me to better understand what my child was going through. It was like you lit a light bulb in my head. The things I learned from your book was that my child would benefit from structure. My child used to wake each morning very moody and would give us a very difficult time getting him ready for school. Once I tried what you suggested it was like magic. To my surprise it worked.

From the very first time I implemented this behavior modification he was compliant, I could not believe it was so easy. He would also give us a very difficult time going to bed; he would cry and keep getting out of bed. Now he goes right to bed when I ask him to. These might seem like minor accomplishments to you but to me it was a milestone. This made our life so much more manageable especially in the morning getting him ready. Now morning time is fun and not upsetting for him and I. This has been extremely helpful to our family and well worth the money we spent.

As far as school goes,I have implemented a lot of the things you suggested. I had given a list to his teacher on his strengths and what things work at home so she can implement them at school to help him. Thank you so much.

–Darlene Hasenkamp


 

"You opened my eyes to the importance of  being your child's most valuable advocate"

One of the many very important philosophies I learned from your book is to act not react. When my son was three we sent him to a parochial school. The principal told us she thought our son was an ADHD child. Later we were told a child has to be at least five years old to be diagnosed. The teacher told me my son knew the subject matter better then everyone else but would not keep still and would blurt out the answer without being called on and didn't like to wait his turn. Perhaps he was bored.

She also said he was so disruptive that I had to come to graduation practice to stay with him because she was afraid of what he would do. He was showing the kids how to jump off the stage. I told her about your book and suggested she buy one. She was very pleased for some guidance, it seemed to me she didn't have a clue what was going on. On graduation day my son and the other children were running wild around the auditorium, by far my son was not the wildest one. Right after graduation we put him in another school and he was just fabulous at his first Christmas play. He is a very energetic active boy. You opened my eyes to the importance of a good working relationship with the school and being your child’s most valuable advocate. From the wealth of information that I received from your book it help me to be aware of the many possibilities of mis-diagnosing gifted children.

– Andrew Vollo


 

"Your book has given me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel with my daughter"

Your book has given me hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel with my daughter.  Instead of trying to conquer all of her traits I am taking them one at a time.

-Dina Tigner


 

"I am so glad my son is not on any drugs, and he is so much better and life has been a lot easier"

Your book has helped us so much because when we were told he had this I was lost.  The doctor didn't give us a lot of information, he just wanted to put him on drugs.  That scared us.  We didn't want to drug our child but we wanted to help him, so I want on the Internet and started to look so I could try to understand this more.  I found your website and started to read it and, wow, it made sense – you really understood what I was going through and when I see that you had a book and not a drug for an answer I wanted more so I got the book and it made sense.  

I am so glad my son is not on any drugs and he is so much better and life has been a lot easier.  I talk to the teachers at the start of school and tell them were he is having trouble and I will support them any way I can, but I expect the same from them, and this has been working! Thank you so much.

– Heather Jamieson


 

"It was my own fault for never teaching him how to listen. DUH!!"

Dear Tom, I have already used some of the techniques on my son Blake. They really work!!  We went over your material on "listening." It was my own fault for never teaching him how to listen. DUH!!  I never intended to "take on" Blake's teacher or school with your material. I have found that I get overly "fascinated" when I try to help his teacher or school.  But if questioned, I will most certainly recommend this to others.  Thanks again.

– Christine LaPorte, Indiana


 

"Wow, are you sure you don't live in my house??"

Wow … are you sure you don't live in my house, Tom??  You have worded this site completely to my son.   I know he can do it, and I am trying and trying to implement this for him…. We just have to find a different way to parent these types of children, in and our of the classroom.  Thank you for your site.. it is awesome knowing that there really is hope.. and I certainly wish that others would take your approach.

– Lisa (last name withheld by request)

  


 

"Amazing.  It was so simple"

Hi, I am Selma and I have a gifted kid that is 11 years old but he refuses to be a serious student.  His name is Denis.  Yesterday, we were sitting at the table and I said, "Denis this paper is very sloppy and you have to re-write it."  And he started screaming at me that he refuses to re-write.  I said very calmly, "Denis let's take a walk.  We did and we did not talk much or seriously but by the time we got back in the house, Denis was ready to re-write the paper and he did not complain.  Amazing.  It was so simple.  The simple things are what we forget about and your website reminded me that simple things work better.  And I proved it yesterday with Denis. 

– Selma (last name withheld by request)


 

"I already wish that California required every teacher to train under you"

Tom, I'm absolutely amazed — I just ordered the parent course at 1:00 a.m. on the weekend and it arrived in the mail on Tuesday!  I truly appreciate your promptness. I am digging into the material this evening. I wish this school knew about your teacher courses. And I hope I can work with them after finishing the parent materials. I'm sure you've heard these stories before, but I need to vent a bit to a sympathetic ear. . . . I already wish that California required every teacher to train under you.  Looking forward to a solving the problem.

– Bob Flora


 

"Your book has been brilliant for helping us to develop skills and strategies . . ."

I must say that I am very impressed with the material!  My son is 5 years old and as we live in England (although I am American) he has now been in formal schooling coming on to three years.  He is an August birth so he is very young for his class (he's now in 1st grade).  Through all three years the teachers have consistently said that he doesn't pay attention and do as he is told.  He is quite intelligent and is a very nice boy – but even at home we have similar behaviour.  Part of that is due to us – his parents – who have not been good about "no means no!" and backing up what we say.  So your book has been brilliant for helping us develop skills and strategies to constructively help my son improve his behaviour at home and at school.  (I also bought the teacher version because I also wanted to understand the perspective of his teachers (and secretly help them to help my son!).

We've just started working on the "ABC's of Behavior Change" section and have done an inventory and the circle of support exercise (the teacher was way way way impressed by the way!  Not just some whining parent but actually coming up with constructive input AND I had definitely done my homework!  By the way, I haven't let on that I have had some help from your books! – that will be our secret!).

My son has started to make progress – but I think perseverance on our part will be the most important part!

– Irene Redman


 

". . . his teacher said that he was now a different kid"

I bought your book in October, and before that my son was in trouble at least two or three times a week.  Since then, I have not had a bad report from his teacher.  In fact during the parent-teacher conference, his teacher said that he was now a different kid.

– Kelli Lorenz, San Diego, California

 


 

". . . has really changed our family life"

I thank God every day for this book because it has really changed our family life.

– Lynn Viator, Jeanerette, Louisiana


 

"… positive results that have improved Jacob's social life, academic life and general attitude"

My grandson Jacob was medicated for ADHD.  However, in spite of the fact that the medication was effective to help him stay focused, he was still demonstrating a very apathetic attitude towards school and homework.  He is a bright child, but his grades were not representative of this.  After acquiring your book and following up on the advice for discipline and consequences we saw improvement in all areas of Jacobs reaction/attitude to school.  

I highly recommend the book and suggest that parents follow up on each set of experiments to determine which best fits their own child’s needs.  We saw positive results that have improved Jacob's social life, academic life, and general attitude.  For example although he was very good in math, because he was refusing to work in school and turn in assignments, he received a D for his first marking grade this year. We just received his second marking period grade and he got an A

–Sharon Wooley

 


 

" . . . it now makes sense why he behaves the way he does"

My 12 year old son Tavis has been showing signs of ADHD ever since he was a small boy.  I've come to realize with your techniques that these problems were inhabited by the way I have raised him.  I know I have tried my best to be the good parent I think I am, however, we all make mistakes.  I wish, when God created babies, he would have attached to the umbilical cord, a booklet on how to raise a perfect child! 

Reading your book, Unlocking the Gifted Student Inside Your ADHD Child, it now makes sense why he behaves the way he does.  For example, Tavis hates it when I remind him of the responsibilities he has casually forgotten.  He thinks I'm bossing him and always telling him what to do.  Tom, you taught me that children always feel overwhelmed when their parents are telling them to do this and do that and don't forget this and make sure you stop that!  However, your solid approach to keeping my child respecting me and doing as he's told, I had to sit him down and let him know that I love him and want him to become the best person he can be. Not to look at me as the bossy mom who's always telling him what to do but to see me as his personal trainer of sorts.    He seemed to like how that sounded, because he was nodding his head and agreeing.  He still gets overwhelmed from time to time but to keep him reminded I'm not his boss and only his trainer, I give a two-fingered whistle and tell him, "Drop and give 20" (pushups, that is)  He'll laugh and actually do it to.  It's a lot more fun around here, so thanks, Tom.  Thanks for your keys, in the many forms, of wonderful words and how to use them.

-Judi Shilton, Toronto, Canada


 

". . . the response was immediate"

When we first purchased your book,  we tried the first technique, and the response was immediate.  It was almost too good to be true.  Unfortunately, we have not been practising it often enough, but at least now we know it works.

– Sue Birch


 

"I can see a distinct improvement in his behavior at home"

At present it is still work in progress, but i can see a distinct improvement in his behavior at home in the way he accepts responsibility for his actions and his interrelationship with his siblings.  His academic performance in school has also started to get back on track. 

– Colin Stephen

 


 

"After working with your strategies he is now much more sociable"

My son was never invited to parties and nobody ever came to his. After working with your strategies he is now much more sociable and has been to a few parties and even has friends for tea. He even has two girlfriends!!  His teacher says he sits in the class now instead of in the corridor and he is now allowed on school trips!  Mark was diagnosed at 6 years old (although I knew at 2).  He is 7 now and in one year he has pulled up 9 months for his reading age and is no longer in the bottom set for math.   He is a star. 

– Jo Dance


 

"I am not shouting at him all the time now"

I only ever saw my child as unruly. I read your book and saw that I should be able to engage in one-to-one conversation with him. Now we laugh and joke when we chat together and I feel better for it. I am not shouting at him all the time now.

– Mike Ponton


 

". . . has opened up doors I didn't think possible . . ."

When I bought your book, I was homeschooling my son. When my son was first diagnosed I didn't know anything about ADHD. The only information that I could get my hands on was telling me that it was a brain disorder, he needed medication, there was nothing I could do about it. Your program was different, it was in my opionion a "human" approch to the situation. ADHD-attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, well look at the first two words, I believe it's us as parents that need to take a time out from our busy day's and give a little "attention" to our children that are "deprived" of it. Doing the worksheets and taking the walks, just spending time with my son, has opened up doors I didn't think possible. Thank you. 

– Mrs Craig


"These suggestions worked quickly . . ."

The thing that has helped us the most is the visual cues and also staying calm. These suggestions worked quickly and also help him with his church group when we asked them to try this with him and others. Because of the insight in the program I was able to talk with our church group. We have a group of nine boys that all have symptons of ADHD. I told them about what I had been learning and that there were a lot of techniques we could use to help these boys. We had a couple of parenting firesides with an ADHD specialist and they have really made a difference. Thanks for all the insight.  It has help to educate me and others! 

– JaNece Pinegar


 

"Once in hand, I read it every night until my eyes burned"

I was so anxious to get your book. Once in hand, I read it every night until my eyes burned!  Thank you so much!   Your book helped me to realize that I was a big part of my son's problem!   Hard to swallow, but true!   

We as parents are so busy in our everyday lives we fail to see the most important part of what makes us parents, our precious children! We need to take the time to find out what makes our children tick and to focus more on them. I'm so glad I snapped out of it!  I regret all the good stuff I missed! Take the time to enjoy your beautiful, precious, children!  Tom: I can't thank you enough! 

-Beth McLean


 

"What we experienced with this one simple change was almost unbelievable"

I received my book in the mail and my husband and I pored over it.  We read in the first section how it is typical to want to "get away" from an ADHD child, but that getting "close in physical proximity" is what they are really needing.  My husband and I made a pact that we would make it a conscious effort to "be close" and to stop what we are doing and look at him when he speaks to us.  With four other kids (four of them teenagers!) this can be a challenge.  
What we experienced with this one simple change was almost UNBELIEVABLE!  First of all, we never realized how sweet and affectionate he was.  He nuzzled right into us.  His disposition was sweet and he truly showed a desire to please.  As we stopped and listened to what he had to say, he "poured his heart out.”  I didn't know he had so much to say!   

– Bonnie Alger


 

When I changed up a few of my words, he magically 'got it' "

The book caused me to listen to how I was talking to my son, the words that I used in communicating to him, and why he wasn't listening.  When I changed up a few of my words, he magically "got it".  It's opened up a whole new world of communication in our family.

– Sue Dewey


 

"This program confirmed what I have always believed.  Thank you for remind me of this"

Of all the information I have read about ADHD, this book confirmed what I have always believed.  There are phrases you can say and or how it is said, that could make the difference in how a child responds to a situation that can easily escalate or not.  Thank you for reminding me of this.  My son has already seen a difference in me and I know in return, I will see a difference in him. 

– Elizabeth Phillips


 

"I thank God every day for this program because it has really changed our family life"

The thing that I learned was listening to my son, and I really struggled with doing that.  Also, realizing that I was a big part of his problem – my old ways of parenting worked for his older brother and I could never understand why it didn't work for him.  When I began to listen to him and put more responsibility on him things began to change for the better.

I also understood that he could do the work but my approach with him had to change. I could not give him more tasks to do at one time then he could handle.  I think just understanding about ADHD made the difference for me. I thank God every day for this program because it has really changed our family life.  

– (Name withheld by request)


 

". . . helped me to begin my journey into my 11-year-old son's mind"

This book helped me to begin my journey into my 11-year-old son’s mind.  I now have a bit more insight into his refusal to do anything he is told to do and to understand why we have much more behavioral problems at home as opposed to at school.  He is very manipulative and shows no emotion or "working with the family" unless it is totally his way, whereas at school his teacher [unfortunately] is not strict and he can manipulate things his way.

This book gave me direction into seeking further help and assistance and the knowledge to take with me in this lifelong journey into the world of ADHD.  I know now: I'm not alone . . . and neither is my son.  He is one of so many people afflicted with this condition and I can now tell the difference in his actions from what he "can" help and what he "cannot" manage.  Thank you for the insight and direction.  I wish you all the success in the world in reaching other parents with your message…I know it helped me.    

– Kelley M. Zino